I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
