I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
