Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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