Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
