i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
