so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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