Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
