ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
