38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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