He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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