I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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