I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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