"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
