She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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