while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
