Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
