have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
