so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
