Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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