pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
