Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
