take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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