How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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