i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
