did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
