wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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