my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
