I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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