Farmville is her only friend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
