We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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