I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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