oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
