you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
