Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
