I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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