You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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