Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
