can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
