Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love accidental penises.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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