What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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