yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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