We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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