he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
