I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
