Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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