I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
