my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
