it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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