gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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