My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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